#can we just talk about this scene again though #how stiles was just going to sit there and let brunski shove that needle in his neck #but then he turns around and sees he’s going after lydia #and suddenly everythings changed #and he screams for her and breaks free
I’m a paradox. I want to be happy, but I think of things that make me sad. I’m lazy, yet I’m ambitious. I don’t like myself, but I also love who I am. I say I don’t care, but I really do. I crave attention, but reject it when it comes my way. I’m a conflicted contradiction. If I can’t figure myself out, there’s no way anyone else has.
So instead of reading up on grad school stuff I downloaded every unreleased Lana Del Rey song I could find. So in procrastinating I did something I’ve been meaning to do for months, maybe Thursday I’ll set out to clean my apartment and dread that so much that I’ll study
I’m stuck between wanting:
1. A long lasting relationship with my soulmate who supports me and protects me and is my partner and we are completely bad ass together and in love
2. Wanting to have casual sex and rip out the heart of everyone person I meet
3. Being independent and having a loyal dog while I’m married to my career
It scares me how accurate this is.
Falling in love with yourself first doesn’t make you vain or selfish, it makes you indestructible.